GARDEN RULES & NIGHTMARES

When will I ever learn??

I just love sowing seeds without labelling them.  It's a mixture of 75% laziness + 25% surprises that I live for.

"Oh, I know what seeds I sowed" but when you sowed many many seeds and many many variety of seeds, they become incognito.  So I live for the surprises.  However if the seeds you sow belongs to say the same family but different variety of citrus ie. mandarins, lemons or limes the suspense can kill especially if it cannot be identified from an early stage.

Last week as I was walking the grounds, I noticed this plant that is about the length of a ruler.  I squatted next to it, fondled the leaves and murmured lovingly "oh how much you've grown Sweetheart."  I knew it was a citrus but was unsure if it was a lime, lemon, orange or even a grapefruit. 

That same evening the silly gardener had to mow the lawn and in his haste he chopped off that same plant I was admiring just hours ago leaving behind a stump of about an inch.  When I saw it I was a bag of emotions mostly on the verge of crying and screaming. 

I marched up to confront him as he was putting away the mower but he calmly said "it will grow again."  Off course it has not. 

The worse nightmare is I can't figure out what seed I had sown.   What have I missed?

WHERE ART THOU... BERRIES??

So I have a strawberry plant that sat on my lap bundled in disguise together with a bunch of roses during that two hours flight home.  It has been nine months since I came back from that flower market that saw me running berserk (no rage, no violent... just deliriously happy!) from garden to garden around that fifty acres of land where you can find every conceivable plants you can think off!  Add that to the strawberry plant / runner which presumably must be around two to three months old where I paid less than a dollar for it, I actually have on hand a toddler berry plant.

I'm just very bad with names.  I've came across how some creative people christened their free range chickens, pet snail (Hello Norman #WaveHands @seinemutti if you're reading this), kittens or even plants with such nice, cute and appropriate names. Alas I could only come up with Straw or Berry or Strawberry.

I wanted a name very badly for toddler berry but calling her Strawberry was just too predictable and quite a mouthful considering she's quite dainty.  Straw? That's not funny.  It reminded me of hot days when I can't wait to push a straw into my ice frizz drink.  The other straw would be just as bad.  Imagine a stalk of dry grain!  That's not a good omen since it's practically hot here 365 days and no I don't want my air-flown-hand-carried plant to suffer the fate of dried straws.

I love berries but Berry? So so not cool.  Someone named Barry might just pop his head round the corner if I started cooing "Berry... berry..." 

Hence this nameless toddler berry plant uprooted from the hill slopes of that cool region ended up in my mini garden.  On some days, she looks really well and I know it'll be soon before she becomes productive but on days she doesn't look so well, I could only sigh and turn to google for answer.  Today is one such day.

My search led me to this:  http://strawberryplants.org/2010/08/strawberry-plants-producing-runners-but-no-strawberries/

Thanks for the tips guys!

So here's the answers as to why my strawberry plant does not produce strawberries YET (take note of the Yet for I'm hoping she will produce SOON, fingers crossed!).

10 Reasons Strawberry Plants Don’t Produce Strawberries

1. Strawberry plants are too young

June-bearing strawberry plants will often produce few or no strawberries in the first year they are planted.  This is, in fact good for the long-term health of your plants and strawberry bed.  The energy that goes into a strawberry is not insignificant for a young strawberry plant.  Since strawberries are perennials that will produce a crop year after year, the best use of developmental energy is in establishing a strong, healthy root system and flower buds within the crown.  The better root system will exponentially increase the nutrient uptake for the second year.  And, those roots will be needed as the flower buds will turn into flowers that will turn into strawberries in year two.  This is why it is important to pinch off strawberry flowers in year one as described on the Growing Strawberries page.  Doing this in year one allows development of more buds and better roots.  This makes the plant healthy.  The healthy plant will then set a much larger harvest than it otherwise would without them.

What young?  Toddler-Berry is 9 months + another 2 - 3 months = 11 - 12 months.  A quick footed toddler would already be walking!  Still no flowers in sight *sigh*

 

2. Your strawberry plants have diseases or parasites or both

There are a host of strawberry pests and pathogens that literally suck the life out of strawberries.  In fact, you can view the most common ones on the Strawberry Plant page.  If your strawberries have an infection or infestation, they may simply be too sick to produce strawberries.

No diseases, no parasites... she's all clean. 

 

3. Your strawberries are thirsty (or drowning)

Strawberries can be finicky when it comes to their water requirements.  They have relatively shallow root systems.  This causes them to absorb the vast majority of their water from the top several inches of soil.  This is also the soil that dries out most quickly when the temperatures rise.  Since strawberry plants require a significant and steady amount of water (see the Growing Strawberries page, linked above) to produce best, constant drying out of the top layers of soil can cause the plants to go into “survival mode.”  They don’t produce many or good quality strawberries in dry dirt (if they survive).  Additionally, too much watering will halt plant growth and strawberry production.  In fact, the strawberry crowns will rot, and the plants will die if they remain in standing water for too long.  It is important to plant your strawberry plants in well-drained soil to prevent standing water from submerging any part of the strawberry plant.

I think they're just nice; either drying or drowning. 

 

4. Your strawberries aren’t getting pollinated

Most of the common varieties of strawberry plants have hermaphroditic flowers, meaning they have both “male” and “female” parts.  However, the flowers typically act as either male or female, not both.  This means that pollen from one flower has to make to to another flower in order for the strawberry to form.  So, if a strawberry plant is kept indoors in a window or outdoors on a screened in porch (or anywhere else where the pollinating insects won’t be successfully drawn to your plant, you likely won’t have any strawberries.

There's no flowers to begin with. 
#Sad #SoSad #SadAnnie #AnnieIsSad #StrawberriesDeprived #DeprivedOfStrawberries #NoBees #PoorBees #HungryBees

5. Your strawberry plants are starving

Strawberry plants are amazing.  They can manage to eke out their existence in some of the harshest places on earth.  In fact, one of my own crazy strawberry runners once rooted itself in the shelf of a cheap, pressboard bookshelf.  It had nothing to eat other than wood chips and whatever glue they use to stick those things together.  To my amazement, it survived and grew well.  It actually was only a inch or so smaller than the other runner plants put out from the same mother plant.  But, when the other plants fruited, this one did nothing.  In fact, it didn’t even produce a flower.  All that to say: your strawberry plants need the right nutrients.  Without the appropriate organic components, the plant may still grow, but it won’t provide you with any strawberries.

Compost + seaweed + powdered eggshells + ground coffee... except no cavier added.  
#TellMeINeedToKnowIfYouAreStillStarving


6. Your strawberry plants are high on NPK

Giving your strawberries too much food can also hurt strawberry production.  The Nitrogen-Phosphorous-Potassium (NPK) fertilizers are generally formulated for specific growing purposes.  Using fertilizers that are of the wrong concentrations for strawberry plants, or even using way to much of an appropriate fertilizer can decrease strawberry production.  Often, the fertilizers cause excessive vegetative growth at the expense of strawberry production.  After all, why should the strawberry plant worry about propagating itself via strawberry seeds if it has so many nutrients tickling its roots that it can’t even think straight?

What high?  On food?

 

7. Your climate is wrong for strawberries

Most strawberries grown at the equator are grown at high elevations where it is cooler.  I don’t think it is possible for them to grow on Antarctica without serious human interventions.  While a few populated places on earth are completely unsuitable for any type of strawberry growth, strawberries will grow just about everywhere else.  If, however, the preferred combination of warmth and coolness is not attained, many varieties will not produce strawberries.  Most strawberry cultivars do best when the days are warm to hot (but not scorching) and the nights are cool to slightly warm.  This combination of warm days and cool nights will almost always result in the maximal strawberry production for almost any strawberry variety.  If you live somewhere where it is too hot, the plants may still grow, but the strawberries may be sparse or absent.

#HangsHeadInShameNo1

There's no spring-summer-autumn-winter here and everyday is practically a hot day.

8. Your strawberry plant variety is wrong for your climate

Strawberry breeding programs around the world are constantly trying to increase local yields by developing more suitable strawberry plants for specific regions.  This goal is often attained.  However, in creating specialized strawberry cultivars, some of the overall adaptability of these plants is bred out or lost.  When that happens, the new cultivars are sometimes successful only in specific climactic regions.  Buying a strawberry developed for Michigan strawberry growers, for example, may not grow well in southern Florida.  When the plants don’t thrive, they often don’t fruit.

#HangsHeadInShameNo2

It was so cold and breezy up there on that 50 acres plot. 

9. Your strawberry plants don’t like their home

Strawberry plants will grow well in containers.  If they are properly cared for, that is.  Container strawberries often do not have sufficient soil.  Their soil will dry out much more quickly than in-ground strawberry plants.  Their roots can get too hot.  If planted in nutrient deficient or poor strawberry-quality soil, the plants won’t be happy.  Regardless of whether a strawberry plant is planted in an inhospitable pot or inhospitable plot, the lack of a suitable home that results in any of the conditions above will diminish or eliminate berry production.  Unhappy plants don’t readily produce strawberries.

I need to have a heart-to-heart and face-to-face talk with ToddlerBerry.  "Tell me seriously.... Have you been unhappy?"  

10. You’ve been duped, lied to, or are misinformed

Occasionally, nurseries that sell strawberry plants get their facts mixed up.  If they sell a June-bearing strawberry variety to a customer wanting an everbearing variety so that they can have a decent crop toward the end of the season, the buyer will be frustrated when no strawberries come forth.  Be sure to check the characteristics of the cultivar you want to plant to make sure it is what you think it is and that it will perform well in your climate.  A great place to start is the Strawberry Varieties page.

So, if there are no strawberries on strawberry plants you have planted, or strawberry plants producing runners but no strawberries, evaluate each of the 10 reasons above and see if they apply to your situation.  If they do, remedying the problem will likely result in reaping a harvest!

No! No! No.... I was not!  It was such a good deal I pressed the note into her hand and made a hurried exit even before she could put a plastic dress over ToddlerBerry.

PS: ToddlerBerry does sounds like a berry nice name... yes?  Until she starts to flower, she will always be just ToddlerBerry.

I AM NOT ALONE

Does the temptation to buy tomatoes amount to suffering from OCD?  

I am obsessed with collecting tomato seeds and growing them.  Until I am successful and have a decent tomato patch, I will continue to buy them.  

I can't walk into a supermarket and not go to the veggies aisles in particular where the tomatoes are placed even if I do not have t-o-m-a-t-o on my shopping list for the day.   I still must wiggle my way there just to check them out and the chance of me putting some into my trolley even though there are tomatoes at home has always been high.  

I always thought I was the only one to behave in such a manner until today.  Well so I was at the supermarket standing in front of a huge box of tomatoes.  It didn't help that the tomatoes were huge;  have grooves and just of the perfect ripeness.  On top of that, the  packer was opening boxes and boxes of them and piling them up to form a little mountain where eager hands were waiting to grab them. 

Off course out of the many hands, one belongs to me.   I never imagine that one day I would be selecting and buying tomatoes as if I was buying a designer's handbag.  

An elderly lady who was beside me looked up and sheepishly said: "I can't resist all these tomatoes.  They're so nice.  I have some tomatoes at home but I still can't resist them." 

There was a familiar ring to what she said as if she was speaking on my behalf.  

"It's alright to buy more." I told her sounding all serious and grown up as I smiled secretly to myself. 

IT STARTED OFF SMALL...

It's amazing what a tiny seed could do.  A lot in fact.

I first grew it on my apartment's windowsills.  It was then brought to MSG and re-potted.   

A seed I grew from my window sill and brought to MSG for transplanting...

When it started to grow in height I left it to lean on a fence "for the time being while I find a better place."  It remained there till today and I have since harvested 2 big crops of approximate 100 beans twice in between many smaller harvest.

Harvest upon harvest

Apart from dosing them with water, I've not fed them anything until lately when I started to give them treats of grounded eggshells and coffee grounds.

Like all plants it has grown into maturity and I have saved some beans on the vines for future babies.  

For a container grown plant, it is more than I had expected.  Can't ask for more!  I reckon the beans love a good sea view too :)

Trellis of beans overlooking the sea

FRIENDS AND FOES

Chillies / Peppers and I are friends.

There's something about growing chillies / peppers that excite me all thanks to the weather here that is just so conducive to growing them.

Success rate is high as compared to growing tomatoes which has always been my biggest obsession and nightmare simultaneously.  

From experience they thrive even in the poorest soil with minimum water but I am not saying you should leave them thirsty.  It's just that you can get away for a few days without having to worry about them.  Off course like all other plants if you tend to their needs well, they will reward you handsomely.

My only grievance in growing chillies is that caterpillars like to strip my plants naked of leaves.  They just love to munch on those plants with smallish leaves while they steer clear of the bigger and tougher leaves.  Snails on the other hand do not fancy eating leaves.  They are a sophisticated lot and love nothing better than feasting on sweet peppers even if that is just my one and only on the branch!

 

While chillies and peppers are my friends, clearly the bugs and slugs are my biggest enemies especially since I am contemplating if I should focus on just growing different types of chillies and peppers in the near future.

Haven't you heard about the benefits of eating this hot stuff?  Well I'll leave the talking for another day... :)

DREAM OF A DREAM...

My love for tomatoes is legendary.  Many know that I have a mad crush over them especially dear Jo-Ann @couscous_jr.

I do enjoy eating tomatoes but not as much as I love collecting the seeds; photographing them and looking at Bakers Creed online shop where I am in love with all the tomatoes and want to add every variety of seed packs into my shopping cart. 

Last night instead of reading bedtime stories, I was admiring those gorgeous beauties posted on IG which left me drooling.       

Suddenly I found myself in the garden (Jo-Ann, you were posting those tempting tomatoes!) and stumbled upon a plant laden with tennis ball size luscious crimson tomatoes.  Naturally I was ecstatic!  Wow... vine ripen tomatoes!  I lifted one to take a picture and the fruit just dropped onto my palm. 

When you fed your head with varying shapes and colours of tomatoes just before bedtime, it was only natural you dreamed of them. 

Lesson learned.  I woke up and there were no tennis ball tomatoes.  So it's back to deciding between green zebra, pork chop or pink boar to grow.  

Never knew deciding which tomatoes to grow can be so hard!

HELLO JUNE

Yay!

June is definitely my favourite month on the gardening calendar here on this island.  

 

It's "The King of Fruits" (durian) season and if you like me loves them, you will understand why.  

During durian season, the island sees an influx of visitors.  Some of these faces you see only during the durian season.  They come, they camp, they pick, they collect and then they leave happily ever after until their next hunt for the thorny fruit.  While this is often all in a day's work, for some it can turn into an overnight affair.  Camping the night means there are more chances to gather the fruit as durians reportedly fall late at night or in the wee hours of the morning.  

  
                     

It's a very common sight to see people carrying a fruit or two in their hands or people cycling past with durians in their baskets.  There are also the locals who pick enough to sell them to the visitors by going to the right plantations in search of the prized fruit.  I haven't got around to camping under the trees and letting mozzies feast on me as I laid in wait to hear that  much longed for thud under the tree.  However I did find two fruits by chance. One was the size of my clenched fist while the other the size of a rock melon.  These were durians the "professional pickers" will not even bat an eyelid let alone pick them.  They were unripe but I still wore that "I picked two king of fruits" smile!
  
The time is here again and I've seen people coming to the island in the morning and leaving at night heaving heavy sacks or unloading trolley bags onto boats.  I think it's worth the S$5.00 they pay for the return trip.  After all these are organic durians; free from additives (pesticides, growth hormones, etc) that some commercial growers feed their trees with the hope that they will yield heavy and perfect crops.  So if you pick a decent size one easily over a kilo that is enough to cover for the boat ride. 

I know of a couple that come almost every weekend.  They form such a perfect team!  During the course of their hunt, while one waits the other will run errands as sort of a break to stock up on drinks and food or to answer nature's call.  Picking durians is no mean feat.  Imagine camping under the trees fighting with the buzzing mozzies with your ears pricked for that sweet sound that will break the silence on those dried leaves and then racing to be the first to reach that prized fruit.  However at the end of the day despite the mozzie bites and perspiration, the bags and bags of fruit they get to lug home outweigh everything.   

This year, the harvest is expected to be  less than in the past as the locals have reported that monkeys... (oh you cheeky monkeys! ;) ) have pulled down some of the developing fruits.  Yes there's monkeys here on this island and let's just say they do like durians too :)) The sad thing for durian lovers is that in their excitement they pull down those unripe fruits too reducing the yield in the process.  

What is so special about durians on this island?  Imported ones from commercial farms can be had almost every other day.  They seem to magically appear so frequently whereas the durian trees here fruit mostly in June and with some luck maybe a smaller crop in November.  They are organically grown so they are as pure as can be.  

While durians are cholesterol free, they are packed with sugars but I can always settle for those bitter sweet ones right?  Bring them on... breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper and I'll gladly sink my teeth into these cottony creamy delightful treats.  I like :))

  

THOSE WERE THE DAYS...

It's funny that I used to love shopping for things like clothes, girly stuff (bags, shoes, etc) magazines and snacks.  Apart from buying them in the malls, I love going to the supermarkets and the first place I hit is usually the fruits and veggies aisles.

Well, I still shop and buy stuff but less bodycon dresses; instead outfits that take me easily into the garden.  I still can't resist a good bag if they're the size of a luggage that I could throw stuff that I need for the garden.  Gone are those gossipy mags.  In place are those filled with plants, flowers, fruits and veggies.  Sustainable living interests me.  Flipping through seed catalogues brings smile on my face.  What Hollywood tales?  

Everybody loves a good snack.  I still love my cookies, chips and chocolates.  I still head towards the fruits and veggies aisles when I am in the supermarkets.  Some things just don't change but some things do. 

These days I would rather visit the garden centre to buy a plant, a pot or a garden tool.  Shopping in malls is no longer a prime necessity.

See what makes me happy!

Loading up on plants even when I am thousands of miles away from home!

NO MELON PATCH YET

What is easy for someone may be otherwise for another or at least for me.

It was so easy to get the seedlings to sprout and I mean really easy.  I had underestimated and seedlings spilled over the small clay pot, each fighting with the other for a place.  There were just too many shoots that I didn't know which to choose and as an excuse to grow them all (as I always do!), I said to myself "everyone should be given a chance."

First attempt at growing rock melon saw a less than encouraging start.  Half way through even before it started to bloom the vines got hijacked by the bugs.  So it was premature goodbye. Certainly no morale booster.

Second attempt at growing butternut squash was slightly more encouraging giving hope of having the real deal .  The vines reached the flowering stage and there were even blooms.  Yes plenty of blooms but unfortunately no females in sight (sigh... sigh... sigh) and then the vines got swallowed by the bugs again gnawing at the leaves and flowers.  Everybody was raving about the tastiness of squash blooms and I just had to tried and I was eating blooms that have already been gnarled by bugs.

Third attempt to grow kabocha this time got eaten by the snails as soon as I re-potted the new shoots.

I have however not given up.  Bags of seeds just waiting for the right opportunity to sow but first to find a little space and lots of courage to start all over again!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

How wonderful to start off the New Year with my first pair of home-grown crimson red tomatoes! 

Yay! Finally parts of my dreams come true.  I mean the part where I aspire to grow tomatoes.  The part about growing beefsteak size tomatoes is still no where in sight yet but that's ok, this is a great start. 

It's hard to describe my joy but I am one happy girl.  I've been looking at the twin like forever and I've subjected them to photo shoots like non-stop.  If they could speak, I wonder if they'll complain about how I subjected them to torture under the bright lights but proud Mama here just didn't have enough.  

Here are some pictures of the crimson twin!

They're cherry tomatoes and supposed to be small but these were teeny weenies.   I can only think that as they're organically grown, they turned out tiny but who cares!  I mean they're home-grown... they're pesticide free.... and they're the sweetest tomatoes I have tasted!

 
 

BACK TO BASIC

After I barred my fingers from tickling any of the tomato blooms (you silly girl!) and let nature takes its course (or at least use a cotton swab or art brush) there were blooms on the tomato plants but still no tomatoes in sight (*sigh*) but at least those blooms stay on the vines.

Internet and social media are great platforms to share and learn. So I discovered that tomatoes are self pollinating; some light breeze or gentle shake of the plants help.  No rough finger tickling is required as that will only aggravate the blooms further.

"Now there's flowers on the plants but still no sign of any tomatoes.  It's been a long time.  Hopefully I'm getting nearer to this tomato dream..."

"When tomatoes are setting out flowers, they require as much sun as they get and also extremely heavy feeders... use organic fertilizers..."

"A great fertilizer should have micro-nutrients and minerals, also live microbes..."

"If  your soil is alkaline add a little sulphur and this will drop the pH but if your soil is high in sulphur pH add dolomite or lime...."

"However you don't want fertilizers that have too much nitrogen, this will get a big leafy plant.  Keep the big leaves off; they take nutrients from the tomatoes.  Only leave enough leaves to cover your tomatoes..."

So in summary I learned that if the tomatoes do not get enough exposure to sunlight, the fruits will not form and if there's not enough water, the blooms will drop.   Fertilizers are important too just as you need to eat some super food.

Ok so assuming all these sunlight, water and fertilizer problems have been sorted out.  You thought you could rest on your laurels but along came some uninvited visitors waiting to destroy your crop.  What do you do? 

Well plant marigolds around the border of your tomato patch.  They're great companion plants and the smell acts as a deterrent to bugs and insects.  If that is not good enough, plant borage, another great companion plant.  It will deter tomato h0rnworms as well as improve the flavour of tomatoes.  How wonderful!  

LITTLE BABY STEPS...

Nothing quite like homegrown!  The taste and fulfillment you get from growing your own fruits and veggies are so worth it.   

Out of my long list of things that I love very much to grow are tomatoes.  Seeing how people who grow their own tomatoes raved at the sweetness and deliciousness of them all makes my desire to grow bigger.   

I yearn to grow tomatoes like these

I spent hours looking at people's tomato harvest on IG as well as gluing my eyes on the computer checking out seeds that promised gorgeous looking tomatoes.  I always thought tomatoes were either orange or green (ripe and unripe) until my internet stalking revealed that a rainbow of colours like blue, green, orange, pink, yellow and even white (varieties) tomatoes exist! Oh boy.. on top of that, they were all so good looking!

My world literally swam in tomatoes but as much as I was obsessed with them, in the garden it was a totally different story. There was zilch tomato.

In the beginning, seeds just refused to sprout and when they sprouted, they looked like teeny weaklings but I never gave up sowing more seeds! 

Finally I must have done something quite right because I found a few robust seedlings which continued to grow taller.  Each day I watched so eagerly with excitement for the first flower to appear.  They did appear in clusters and then frizzled out and dropped.  The cycle repeated again and again and months after the first flowers appeared, there was still no sign of any tomatoes in sight.

Aren't I clever?  Just because I read of people hand pollinating blooms, I reckoned since no tomatoes were still in sight and bees just weren't doing their jobs, I happily used the tip of my not too dainty fingers to tickle those tomato blooms.  

More disasters followed but surely I am getting nearer to harvesting those prized tomatoes.

THE POWER PACKED FRUIT

Guavas are definitely love!  These tropical fruits with a cream or pinkish / reddish flesh are delicious.  The young leaves can be brewed to make tea and are known to be beneficial for health as the leaves contain natural phytochemicals.  The fruits and leaves can also be used as a facial scrub.  There's like many-in-one use for these fruits.  Even birds love them but we'll talk about that a little later....

Guavas are high in nutritional value as they are loaded with Vitamin C, fibers and minerals.  The fruits have a rich source of anti-oxidant property and considered one of the best food to slow down and delay the process of ageing naturally.    

They are such hardy plants that thrive with minimum care and with regular feeds will ensure abundant of fruits. 

Apart from enjoying these fruits as it is or juiced, the young leaves can also be used for brewing tea to aid in digestion.  As the fruits and leaves are rich in astringents, they are also ideal for use as a facial scrub for toning and brightening the skin.  Sure bliss to slather natural goodness on the face as you enjoy the sweet aroma of guavas.

However like all good things, I have a competitor who loves guavas as much as I do... seriously.

Watch out for story about this seeds loving dude!

 

I AM SECRETLY IN LOVE

(1)  Drooled over photos of gorgeous tomato posts on others' IG with envy.

(2) Checked out overseas heirloom seeds and drooled (again!) over Ananas Noire, Brandywine, Creme Brulee, Chocolate Cherry and all their other siblings or cousins and secretly disappointed at the appalling lack of varieties locally.   

(3)  Stalked the tomato section of every supermarkets for any newcomer.

(4) Bought tomato plants for soon to be vine ripen tomatoes.   

(5)  Collected more and more packets of tomato seeds.

(6)  Fondled and caressed tomatoes lovingly in the hope that I would grow them just as beautifully.

(7) Hoarded ripe tomatoes in the veggie compartment waiting for "the right time" to sow the seeds. 

(8)   Happy even though my shopping spree yielded nothing except for a couple of tomatoes. (It's the seeds that I want)

(8)  A friend walked into his kitchen, came out with a bowl of tomatoes and handed the bowl to me.   

(9)  At one particular supermarket, this same guy always wore this "I know what nonsense you're up too... don't deny" smile whenever I approached (where else if not the tomato section!)

Thank you but don't crack your head to buy me a gift.  A packet of tomato seeds (heirloom please) will be just great and if you ever catch me stalking you / your garden please excuse me but I could just be admiring your tomatoes... with envy.